3.1 Ways to Kill A Student Governing Council

There is a how- to –do- it -yourself, a story that I read a few weeks ago. From the story, the writer suggested ways in which to carry out various household tasks. I got interested in one of the story titled: ‘How to kill an old Dog’. In it, the writer gives one of the most cost and labor effective way to kill an old dog suggesting that you throw the old dog onto your neighbor’s compound. The neighbor must be the macho one. He will be ready and willing to exterminate the vermin for trespassing. Our old dog Moi University Students’ Council (MUSO) is begging for euthanasia. But here are some of the ways in which it has been exterminating itself.

Casting the Ballot

Moi University Information Sciences Students Casting the Ballot in a previous election.           Photo/Richard Sarati

Own Shops
One old satirist Salim Salat would refer to this outfit as Moi University Shop Owners. Once elected into office the ‘honorable’ directors perfect the art and science of shopreneurship. These shops charge astronomical prices above the normal pricing. The extortions done to the freshas by the directors in the last few weeks has driven this organization to the hanging. Two months ago irate comrades razed to ashes one of such investments. The current directors are no way different from their predecessors hence imminent death is awaiting them in near future. Comrades are therefore urged to avoid buying anything from businesses associated with MUSO if we want to kill it swiftly.

Have Coalition Governing Council
After a dispute, the losing aspirants chant, ‘we must annul the whole process or have a grand coalition for the peace of comrades.’ This must be encouraged. It creates the ‘I don’t care mentally’ among the adopted directors. Recall when we had the posts like Prime Director? Mr. Prime Director had no real responsibility except to be an active member of conversations at the students centre’s frustration benches. Now the losers also have been adopted to the various committees of MUSO. This is a clear indication that this outfit is writing its own obituary. Who is to provide the checks and balances to one Mr. Mogire?

Plan Mega projects
There lived two men in MUSO. Sec-Gen-Safari, the hoarse-voiced caricature of a director and one gigantic Papa who promised a world class swimming pool by the end of their term. At the end, they delivered some concrete made seats under some tree shades outside hostel H. Meanwhile, Comrades may as well continue taking swimming lessons at the Falls and Kesses Dam. I suggest that our current directors should initiate a construction of a fly-over to Mabs. This will really save comrades from the muddy pathways as they go shopping on Saturdays. When they fail to deliver, we don’t vote in the next council.

Strengthen Voting Blocks
The Jubilee and CORD coalitions need to be strengthened in order to divide the comrades even more. This will provide the comrades with many opportunities to text each other in hard copies. It will therefore prompt frequent indefinite closures of the university. The comrades will come back disoriented, full of apathy and therefore fail to vote. The campus administration will therefore hand-pick some boot-lickers into the student council.


2 responses to “3.1 Ways to Kill A Student Governing Council

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