And When Am Gone…

Sometimes it has been interesting

Other times just funny

Whenever I think of when I will be gone

When my friends and family would have mourned and moved on

When many would have pretended to celebrate my life

When my name would be used as an example

When I would be praised more than rebuked

My accomplishment would be idolized

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But, folks, I will never be around to see you worship me.    Photo/Courtesy

My credentials turned into bestseller narratives

My character would by then turned into a legend

No one will bother to counter-check facts

Every artist will be composing freedom songs in my name

From the city highways to the village dusty footpaths my legacy will travel

But, folks, I will never be around to see you worship me

I will be somewhere gazing at the King of Kings glory


I know it is a taboo to speak this folks

But, when am gone, please do not go crazy

Do not print T-shirts with my ugly smiling face on it

Please do not announce my death in obituary pages

Do it on politics and opinion pages

Here many people would readily read about it and forget

Do not place it in business pages

Only the very smart readers would come across it

Let the announcement be a color bar for the latest corruption case

Even if many buffoon readers will confuse with a politician

At least they will forget about me just like they forget politicians’ lies

And if the editors never give you space

Do no worry

I will still be gone


To the keyboard warriors

I do not need to tell you much

Even if I instruct you

You will still write so much stuff about me

Many RIP will flood my timeline

I wish I would still access my accounts to reply to and like the posts

But don’t worry

By then, Facebook would have invented an app to like posts automatically

And reply with ‘Am so touched emoji’

Among the things you would write about me

Never bother to check facts

Like where I was born

Why I remained a bachelor for so long

Why I rarely changed my profile photo

What if I knew how to use watsapp and Instagram

Just post any trash that will bring in more likes and comments

If you get a chance to take photos of my casket

Forget the damn ethics

Post it on any available and accessible online space

Create hastags like #GoneOnTime, #EnjoyingTheAttention

Do not fret to throw in several of the gossips that have clouded my lifestyle

Do it with those catchy phrases like: from a close family relative of his blah blah blah

Manipulate those photos I uploaded eating

Caption them now feasting on honey flavored manna and a mug o milk

Let the Nkaissery of my exit time not threaten you

You have my word to trash and annihilate me when am gone


To my buddies

When am gone

Do not cry like abandoned babies

Never pretend to celebrate my life either

Just continue with your hustle

Consider me an old leaf

Brown with age, withered and drops on the ground

To feed the microbes

Do not call for meetings to fundraiser for my send off

You don’t need to send me off

I will already be gone by then

Do not hold concerts in my name

Instead mind about your legacy
If you have ever built any

Forget about the nasty moments we had

Bury the fun we shared

And when am dead and gone

Just forget and move on



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